Discovery of Australian Wildlife

Background

Since time immemorial, Australia has been the epicenter of animal extremity.
Sometime during whenever, the animal kingdom was evenly distributed across all continents, each region had its own awesomeness as well as its disappointment, like the fucking Tapir, and everyone seemed to be pretty fucking chilled about the whole thing. Time went on as time is known to do and civilizations rose and fell accordingly until one empire, the British Empire became the most definitively radical empire to date and in efforts to prove this, it set out across the planet searching near and far for places worth stealing. This endeavor caused them to, in 17whogivesashit, to stumble upon an island unlike any other island, for on this island, the native animals had been training in various martial arts for several million years, undisturbed. What Captain Thatguy and his crew of merry men had stumbled upon was an entire continent covered in wildlife that had, over time, become biologically designed to
wreck.
Your.
Shit.

The Reaction

The discovery of this dirt plain of badarsery obviously pissed off the Governing Council of Animals (or the GCA). they would not let this shit go down unpunished so they set about trying to even things out by sending in some of the shit animals such as the rabbit and the Cane Toad (although the rabbit was being punished himself for doing blow and punching a baby at one of the deer's engagement party). This is when shit got real. The Australian animals saw the boatloads of wankstains the GCA had sent over to keep an eye on them and decided this was not for them. Platoons of coral and Stonefish were mobilized and decimated the fleet of gay animals headed for their shores. Next, Wedge Tailed Eagles and a bunch of fucking giant Albatross were sent to ruin some days. and did they ever, the oceans ran red with the blood of rabbits as their bodies were torn apart midair, eviscerated rabbits' internal organs spilling over their friends and families, heads torn off and dropped onto cane toads, flattening them and sending a spray of blood and brains into the air in a fine but dense mist. Having done their work, the birds headed back and those remaining from both sides waited, with baited breath as to see what
happened as the boats hit the shore and the shit hit the fan.

The Landing at Botany Bay